I'm no James Bond

During covid, I watched a number of James Bond movies. I was drawn to his character like so many other people have throughout the decades. His style, confidence, toughness, and wit, is something most men I would say long to possess as he does.

But it also got me thinking. For all the masculine characteristics that I was drawn to of his, would James Bond be satisfied with being James Bond?

Now, I know that these are fictional movies with a fictional character. But, the portrayal of an independant swiss army knife man who can seemingly will his way through any situation is not only unrealistic, but more importantly, I find unfulfilling.

I have talked a lot with other people recently over coffee about what The Relational Project is about, and maybe more importantly at times, what it is not. The meaning of being a relational person is a complexity that I try to seek after. But, I have discovered something along the way.

Being a relational person is not about being the most social or extroverted person in the room. In fact, I have met people who are very social and talkative, but are not genuine. Being a relational person means a lot of things, but two foundational aspects is being open and honest.

Be open to what others in your life have to say and give in relationship. It is not about you. Deep beauty is often found in sacrificing our words for silence to listen to the person across from us. God is moving in the lives of others. Allow Him to speak to you through others you trust.

Be honest about who you are, what you feel, and how you are doing. Emotional maturity is absent in the habitual "I'm doing good" response. If faith is about the deep rootedness of life and our existence, then our conversations in such communities should inevitably lead to raw conversations.

I want to clarify one thing, being open and honest has it's different levels of appropriateness. I naturally will share things with my counselor that I won't share with my supervisor at work. Being open and honest isn't about spilling your guts to the random lady in the produce aisle at Aldi or airing your dirty laundry on your Facebook page. It's more about being communicative with God and other people close in your life with palms up.

Not defensive. No excuses. No hiding. Yet, feeling safety to share with vulnerability.

The aspect of James Bond being a loner and being perfectly satisfied in this alpha male type living is one that attracted me if I'm being honest. I live by myself and I can confidently say in my struggle with loneliness, I am no James Bond. The aspect of being an 'orphan' and unattached I thought could bring freedom. The idea that I can live a life having my schedule completly to myself in the boundaries of living a 'morally upright life' I thought would be bliss. But it brings anguish.

I am made to be in community with others on a frequent basis. So are you. And when my community is absent, it only emphasizes my constant need for my connection with God that is ever present, but at times, is feeling-less. But even when feelings lack, may the truth of His word be fuel for your faith to continue in the trenches of communicating with God and others.

I can not live an independent, lone wolf type life as James Bond seemingly does with ease. But, I reckon that Daniel Craig, or Pierce Brosnan, or the other actors who have played the James Bond character over the years, also long for community and deep connection as I do. Afterall, they are relational people too.