The Time Tightrope

Right after I graduated college, I went to work for a small church as their youth pastor and media director. With only about 50 people in the church and just the Pastor and myself on the payroll, the congregation quickly felt like family. I cherish those times as I reflect back on them. It was a time of growth and learning for me.

Once a month, the church would host a luncheon for the retired people in our congregation. I got to eat good home cooking and hear stories from people from generations who have come before me. They would ask me questions, and because of my youth at the time, they would say things like "Oh you have time, you are so young." Then, in the same conversation they would say, "I remember when I was your age and time seemed to just fly by."

I snicker a little at the contradiction of those two phrases, but it did make me question, "which one is it?"

I was 23 when I started work there and now I'm 28. I'm at a different job and living in a different city now. The conclusion I have drawn since then, is that it is a little bit of both. As one of my coworkers the other day told me, "you have time, but don't drag your feet."

When do we normally pay attention to time? For me it is when I have goals or desires that are unmet. The ticking clock in my head that whispers "I am behind in life" is a dangerous voice. Nonetheless, it can be hard to tune out it's ticks.

Time can feel like a tightrope. Some seem to balance it well while others desperately need a safety net. In my own life, I have had many stumbles and have definitely needed that safety net. But, as I reflect on those times, I begin to view time for more than just it's contant ticks.

Moments have and will come when I feel I have failed or wasted time. And the ticks on the clock that I wasted can really tick me off. The question for me is not whether it was a total waste or another failure, but rather was I prepared.

I was in boy scouts growing up, and our motto was "be prepared". I believe that phrase is more than just packing an umbrella in case it rains or having a jacket in case the cool wind picks up. It's about approaching the mundane and abnormal moments of life as equal opportunities to mold your character.

Life can throw curve balls at you and situations you didn't plan. But, if you can look back and say "I did everything I could to set myself up for success", was it really a total failure at the end of the day?

If I can respond with grace and see the joyful moments amidst a disappointing result, then my time is never really wasted. I just reordered my thoughts to see life as God's will for us.

Rejoice always, pray continually,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

Always. That includes those trips on the tightrope when you stumble and fall 1,000 times, yet you still seek out the moments when there was perfect balance. You can see the grace when you fall and the compassion when you stumble.

Our Father who is in heaven is a God who never wastes a situation, but redeems and restores our ways beyond our imagination. He does this because He truly cares about us. That is how we can rejoice and give thanks when we feel like time has slipped through our fingers.

As my sweet mother would tell you, I am a horrible liar and I cannot hide my emotions well. And I must confess, she is absolutely right. But because of my horrible poker face, it gives me a chance to be open with those in my community. They remind me to believe that there is hope beyond the nagging ticking clock in my head.

With the strength of a community, I can move on from my disappointments and look back with kindness on myself and others. I'm reminded that what's more important than goals, dreams, or desires, is seeing people the way God sees them. And the more I tune my clock to spend time thinking upon the goodness of God amidst the presence of others, I discover I'm never really wasting time, but rather I'm having the time of my life.

Written by Adam Garner