Where do we go from here?

Last year, I house sat for a retired couple as they wintered in Florida for a few months. The location of their house was 15 minutes from my new job vs the 1 hour commute I had been making from where I was living at the time. Having a house to myself minutes from work was a breath of fresh air. It also pushed me to the decision of moving closer to my job once the house sitting job was done.

I was 27 then and single, trying to figure out finances of moving and the more expensive cost of living in the area around my job. As the couple got to know me and I got to know them, they encouraged me to move closer to work. I knew inside that it was time for a new chapter.

Looking back now at 28, I am so thankful I made that decision to move. But what I remember most, was what the husband of the couple said to me while I was trying to figure out logistics of it all. He looked at me said "Adam, I have never been in your shoes. 27, single, and trying to figure life out. We want to help you out." In that moment, I felt seen.

My family has always been understanding of my circumstances and I am so thankful for them. This couple I got to know didn't try to force their opinions on me or tell me how to make decisions, they treated me like my family has treated me and chose to walk with me through that season.

A year after that season, I find myself in a new but familiar season of waiting.

I got coffee with a friend and mentor of mine recently and she told me "Adam, God calls us to be diligent in our season of waiting." That really stuck with me. I can get lazy in seasons of waiting for what I want in life. I want 5 steps ahead before I decide to move, but God is content with us seeing 1. Or sometimes what feels like 1/2 a step.

As a single young adult, it is too easy to let my thoughts run astray. As Debbie Rose said in her Relational interview with us, "when you are left to your own devices, your thoughts can get distorted." I relate with that.

I think this is why God offers so many reminders in the Bible. Things like 'He will never leave us' and that He loves us. He knows how forgetful we become. Yet with grace, reminds gently.

I have prayed honest prayers this summer of "God, where do we go from here?" I went on a prayer retreat a few weeks ago and told God "there are so many things I want and desire for, but instead of spending today asking for them, where are we at?"

Questions regarding relationship status, financial security, buying a house, ect, are desires I have. But, what are they if my grounding with God is not fertile soil?

For the first time in a long time or maybe ever, I have no idea will happen next. My prayer retreat offered me no great epiphany or revelation. What it did offer was peace.

And that was enough.

Philippians talks about the peace that passes understanding. Peace that only comes from God. When I truly feel peace, I can rest assured it is from my compassionate Father who knows me fully. A truth my mentor also reminded me of.

Going back to a year ago when I was unsure of finances and housing, God was faithful. He put a community around me and people who saw me and understood me.

This is why relationships are so important to me and why I long for everyone to experience these moments of harmony. Life is too important and often too gray to endure it alone.

Where do I go from here? I don't really know. But I have peace. I do have one step I can take and I will put my best foot forward knowing I don't take the step alone. I know, even if I don't feel it, that God is faithful. He will direct where I do not see.

And maybe, as I take the next steps with God and others, my desires may change to something more beautiful than I could ever produce on my own.

I want to end this blog with song lyrics that have meant a lot to me this summer. It has been my cry to God. I encourage you to check out the song.

"Looking for the real thing, I'm just trying to feel things.

Something I could hold to, wishing I could hold you.

Trying to fix the painting, colors keep on changing.

Don't know how to move this, only way is through this.

I don't know how, what happens now?"

Youtube link to song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NcoYf1d4bQ&list=RD4NcoYf1d4bQ&start_radio=1